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Peppaland
Ext. the Pig household, night. An owl is hooting. Narrator: It’s nighttime. Peppa, George and Daddy Pig are are fast asleep. But Mummy Pig is still awake… Int. Mummy and Daddy Pig’s bedroom. Daddy Pig is snoring loudly. Mummy Pig looks cross. She nudges him Mummy Pig: Daddy Pig… DADDY PIG! Pig wakes up with a start Daddy Pig: SNORT. Wha – goodness me, what is the matter, Mummy Pig? Mummy Pig: You were snoring again. Daddy Pig: No I wasn’t. I know when I’m snoring. Pig closes her eyes and raises her weird pig hands in an “I give up” sort of gesture Mummy Pig: Daddy Pig. We need to talk. Daddy Pig: Nighttime isn’t for talking, Mummy Pig. You’ll wake up Peppa and George. Mummy Pig: Well, your snoring hasn’t woken them up, has it? Pig snorts indignantly Mummy Pig: Listen, Daddy Pig… Daddy Pig: What? Mummy Pig: Are you… happy? Daddy Pig: As happy as anybody in a bizarre, post-nuclear dreamscape where everyone’s nose is on the side of their head can be. Why? Mummy Pig: Well, I’m not. Daddy Pig: Oh. Is it Peppa? Look, yes, we’ve raised an obnoxious little shit. But it’s not entirely our fault… Mummy Pig: No, it’s not Peppa. Yes, she’s a nightmare and I have no idea how we managed to spawn the living Devil, but that’s beside the point. It’s you, Daddy Pig. It’s us. Daddy Pig: What do you mean? Mummy Pig: Daddy Pig. I love you. I love George. I even love Peppa, in a way. But I’ve been dishonest with you for a while. I’m a – Daddy Pig: Don’t say it, Mummy Pig. Do not sit here and tell me you’re a – Mummy Pig: Lesbian. Daddy Pig: Sweet Jesus. Pig starts bawling uncontrollably Daddy Pig: tears Oh it all makes so much sense now. Those sensible shoes… Mummy Pig: Now hold on a sec – there’s only one type of shoe in this universe and we all wear it. You can hardly – Daddy Pig: her the life-size sculpture of Gillian Anderson you bought on eBay, “for a joke”. Your completely irrational aversion to my hideous, foot-long corkscrew pig penis… Mummy Pig: a soothing tone Look, Daddy Pig… Pig continues to expel a stream of loud sobs, punctuated by snorts Daddy Pig: So is there… is there a woman? Mummy Pig: sighs Yes. Donna Dolphin. Daddy Pig: So you’re leaving me then? For a dolphin? Does she even live on land? What is this fucked up world we live in where lesbian dolphins live on land? That nuclear fallout really has done a number on us all. Mummy Pig: We’re in love. Pig jumps out of bed and starts pacing, head in hands Mummy Pig: Daddy Pig, I know how hard this must be, but – Pig opens a window Daddy Pig: out the window GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY. MY WIFE IS IN LOVE WITH A DOLPHIN. A FEMALE DOLPHIN. Mummy Pig: furious DADDY PIG. bedroom door opens. Peppa and George enter, rubbing their eyes Peppa: Why are you crying, daddy? I’m scared. George: snort Daddy Pig: Children, your mother has something to tell you. Peppa: Oh, did you tell him, Mummy? About you being a lesbinum? Pig’s mouth drops wide open Peppa: Silly daddy. Everyone knows mummy is a lesbinum. Even George worked it out. And the only word he knows is “dinosaur”. George: Dinosaur, rawr! Pig silently curls into a foetal position on the floor Peppa: Mummy, when I grow up, can I be a lesbinum? Boys are yucky. Mummy Pig: Yes Peppa you can, infact you can fuck me right now Narrator: So Peppa licks Mummy's pussy. Then They have a orgy with the whole townCategory:Peppa's home Category:Fanfictions Category:Peppa's Adventures Category:Mummy Pig's Adventures Category:Daddy pig adventures Category:George's love interests Category:Gay Category:Sex